London Update.

I've gotten a lot of grief lately about not incorporating my stay in London into the blog. The way I look at it, this is more of an online diary meant for whiny, angsty feelings, poetry, observations, etc…

Currently, I'm keeping a hardcopy travel journal, because I'm a bibliophile, and the idea of having a tangible source to come back to later is cool.

It's my hope to work on beefing it up, doing some editing, and posting it all online as an e-book sometime during the summer…so if you're still interested sometime around June, keep your eyes peeled. 

However, whiny, angsty feelings, poetry, and observations are also a big part of my life here, so time and time again, I'll give a couple of excerpts, like the one below:

Enjoy!!

After a conversation with another friend studying abroad in which I realized I'm not at all involved in the UCL community:

"I immediately felt a rush of mixed emotions, and I'm still not entirely sure I know how to interpret them, but I'll begin here: The first I felt was deep disappointment in myself. So far, I've been here closer to a month than she has, and have yet to even pick a topic for my midterm and end-of-term essays, let alone even begin to write one. 

Secondly, I was given the opportunity to run for various affiliate student offices, join several debate, theatre, and writing societies, but chose not to on the totally lackluster grounds of "Eh, do I really have the time (or, let's face it--the motivation) to do that?" I felt like a lout…so far I'll I've done since arriving in England is drink casually on weekends, go out with boys, stay hulled up in my apartment journaling and tracking songs, and going on riding outings. I've done 3/4 of the effort I normally require of myself, ditching my bookish habits from back home, and it doesn't appear that I've made much of an effort to try anything new. 

I felt like a waste of space…….for about 2 1/2 seconds. 

All of a sudden, the other little conscience guy who sits on my shoulder chimes in with: "But Alex, this is possibly the happiest and most content you've been in years. Doing anything differently would be dishonest to who you are."

Then it dawned on me--who says I'm not doing anything differently? I'm in a foreign country, for starters, and there on a total and complete whim. That's a WORLD of difference. With nothing more than a suggestion from a person I hardly knew at the time, I horse showed after a summer spent in retirement, and ended up sweeping the division on a series of mounts I'd never seen before in my life. I'd consider that pretty brave. 

I met a boy and went on a real date--something I've never really done at home because I purposely bog myself down with school, work, or something extracurricular that I may not even like. 

For the first time in my life, I'm not worrying or holding myself to a timetable, or making ridiculous commitments for the sake of nothing more than being recognized. 

I'm actually living each day, taking it one step at a time."